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The intranet police are out to get you

If you intend to put content on our intranet; watch out because the intranet police are scouring the pages when you’re not looking.

Reading your content, filled with passive voice, determined to hide any true meaning. Surfacing your documents, still labelled with a template name that was in use 5 years ago. Routing out pages that have one sentence saying “information will be published soon.” Looking at analytics to see if anyone is reading your content. Searching for your pages to see if they appear in search results. Questioning the vanity pages that serve no purpose but self promotion. Gutting out your microsites filled with “what we do, how we do it, why we do it, when we do it, you can do it, help us do it.”

To staff: all this we do for you. So that you don’t have to spend time wading through intranet goo. So that you can find what you want using the search engine.

To content providers: we can only do this by constantly and consistently promoting our intranet standards when working with you. Sorry if we sound tough, negative or difficult. Your job may be to put something on the intranet because your manager has asked you to. Our job is to make sure that it is suitable for publishing on the intranet. Please don’t hate us when we return a document to you because you didn’t fill out the metadata or because you keep saying “click here.” We showed you how to do this. You understood why you have to do this. Please don’t expect us to do it for you.

Your humble servants

the intranet police
watching you, watching us, watching them


/ends

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Intranet bloggers psychographic analysis

I stumbled upon typealyzer.com, a website that reads your blog and produces a psychographic analysis.  Always one for a cosmo quiz, I fed it my blog and was amazed at the results.  And the in-depth entry for the psychological type in wikipedia was even more accurate.  
 
The analysis uses the “Myers-Briggs type indicator” (MBTI) system, which is based on 16 psychological types, similar to the psychometric testing that was popular in job interviews in the 90s.
 
I analysed the blogs of some of my favourite intranet tweeps.  Out of the 16 possible types, we fell into 5 categories as outlined below (MBTI type shown in brackets.)  The typealyzer website analyses writing style and voice and is not an official MBTI test, where you have to fill out a multiple choice test and pay for it, or go for a job interview.

Type: Scientists (INTJ)The long-range thinking and individualistic type. They are especially good at looking at almost anything and figuring out a way of improving it – often with a highly creative and imaginative touch. They are intellectually curious and daring, but might be physically hesitant to try new things.The Scientists enjoy theoretical work that allows them to use their strong minds and bold creativity. Since they tend to be so abstract and theoretical in their communication they often have a problem communicating their visions to other people and need to learn patience and use concrete examples. Since they are extremely good at concentrating they often have no trouble working alone.

(Jane McConnellJames Robertson, Alex Manchester, Wedge, Sean Nicholson, Bas Zurburg, Luke Oatham)

Type: Duty fulfillers (ISTJ)

The responsible and hardworking type. They are especially attuned to the details of life and are careful about getting the facts right. Conservative by nature they are often reluctant to take any risks whatsoever.

The Duty Fulfillers are happy to be let alone and to be able to work in their own pace. They know what they have to do and how to do it.

(Gerry McGovernMark MorrellValerie Hoven, Nic Price)

Type: Executives (ENTJ)

The direct and assertive type. They are especially attuned to the big picture and how to get things done. They are talented strategic planners, but might come off as insensitive to others needs and appear arrogant. They like to be where the action is and like making bold and sweeping changes in complex situations.

The Executives are happy when their work lets them learn and improve themselves and how things work around them. Not being very shy about expressing their ideas and often very outgoing they often make excellent public speakers.

(Peter Richards)

Type: Thinkers (INTP)

The logical and analytical type. They are especially attuned to difficult creative and intellectual challenges and always look for something more complex to dig into. They are great at finding subtle connections between things and imagine far-reaching implications.

They enjoy working with complex things using a lot of concepts and imaginative models of reality. Since they are not very good at seeing and understanding the needs of other people, they might come across as arrogant, impatient and insensitive to people that need some time to understand what they are talking about.

(Richard Hare)

Type: Guardians (ESTJ)

The organizing and efficient type. They are especially attuned to setting goals and managing available resources to get the job done. Once they have made up their mind on something, it can be quite difficult to convince otherwise. They listen to hard facts and can have a hard time accepting new or innovative ways of doing things.

The Guardians are often happy working in highly structured work environments where everyone knows the rules of the job. They respect authority and are loyal team players.

(Toby Ward)

Blog analysis courtesy of www.typealyzer.com
Wikipedia entry on Myers-Briggs type indicator   
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Perfect Human Resources intranet page

Welcome again to the Human Resources section of the intranet

Human Resources reports to the Corporate Services business group, just so you know who you’re dealing with.

These pages contain reference material and information about your employment with the company, plus help and advice and useful forms. We know that may come as a surprise.

We  have designed these pages to be easy to use, and feel the need to tell you about it. In fact, they’re so easy that we even give you detailed instructions on how to use them.

We aim to review this site on a regular basis and to keep these pages up to date.

You’ll find all the options that you actually came here for, hidden way down below the bottom of the screen because to tell you about us and what we do and how fabulous we are and how to use this site is more important than you actually finding what you wanted.

Please bookmark this page so that when we restructure our pages, you’ll get a broken link if you try to come back.

We hope you enjoy your visit to Human Resources.

Thank you for flying air intranet. Good bye now. Good bye. Thank you. Goodbye.

Page updated: 3 May 2008